We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
