O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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