He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
