Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
