We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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