My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
