I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
