I'm lost and stupid without you.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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