Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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