I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
