i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
