sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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