He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
