Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
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