I wish you could order shots online.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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