why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
