is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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