He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
