we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
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