ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
