he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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