So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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