ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
