My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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