It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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