Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
