I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
