My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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