I cockslap morals
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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