the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
