too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
