"it" just moved
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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