Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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