New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
