u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
