I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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