I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
