You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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