We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
