So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
