My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Randomize
