that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize