tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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