Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
