We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
where are my eyebrows?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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