New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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