My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
