yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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