His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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