My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
