So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
