so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
We are two peas in an std pod
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
