just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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