woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
