just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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